Friday night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear On Christmas Morning.” Letterman said, “The holidays are a wonderful time and there's many reasons to be thankful, especially in the world we live in now. But often, there's tension, and the tension can occur Christmas morning” ( “Late Show,” CBS, 12/19 ).
10) “Freeze--FBI!”
9) “Something’s moving in the tree.”
8) “He left the cookies and milk, but the TV is gone.”
7) “There’s a caroler frozen on the porch.”
6) “Did you get a long, rambling poem about ‘The Late Show,’ too?”
5) “My stocking has a foot in it.”
4) “Do you smell singed hair?”
3) “Santa left a photo he took of us sleeping.”
2) “No, no, no, I said hug grandma and water the tree.”
1) “Just messing with you kids--give the presents back.”
